We of the H.C.A. are still hard at work on locating "Hillary Clinton Island". Two H.C.A. top secret spies are heading to an undisclosed location off Belize in November to scout for us. The say their friend has an island with a heli-pad....
Perhaps we can find an island complete with an ancient Mayan temple. Hillary Clinton Island, 2012, the Mayan calendar... (begin dream sequence)...
On December 21,2012 "Stiffy the Mayan Wonder Cat" will raise up from the underworld. Spewing a vomit mixture of Oil,Gold and Blood that has been ripped from the Earth,to pull the pin on the intergalactic hand grenade. As the little E.T. 'Gort' phones home to say,"Yep putting humans on Earth was a huge mistake,let's start this thing again."
Here's some shots from Shawnee's 40th birthday party last night. I'll get back to politics soon, I'm too floored by John McCain's "the cat ate my homework" stunt to even comment on that one for the moment.
Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, John McCain.
One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong... Can you guess which thing is not like the other?
Red? Green? Blue? Pretty, ugly, bulbous? No!
O.K., you'll never guess. All these people have the same amount of letters in their first and last names EXCEPT John McCain.
He is the looser. Boooo!
If he changed his name to Johnny McCain, or John Cain, he might be a winner, but no. He is the big fat looser.
If he changed his name he would also have to have reconstructive surgery to look the part of his new identity. But as it is, he has tried to fit in by choosing a young attractive running mate. He never would have chosen Sarah Palin in a million years if she wasn't nice looking. So much for sexism. So now we know why John McCain is the looser. He just doesn't fit in with the name game!
With that said, here are my presidential predictions of the morning:
Name-unbalanced John McCain has a great future at the golf course. I even see a hole-in-one! He and Cindy will have many fun-filled days lounging around on the greens. Oh wait, I see in my magic crystal a couple T.V. spots for him that will go over like lead balloons!
Winner Sarah Palin has a great future in store! No, not anything presidential I'm happy to say. Sarah will be a CELEBRITY! She will write a book, appear on T.V. shows, and be invited to lots of parties! Yea Sarah!
Winner Hillary Clinton will continue to work her ass off till the day she dies. She will make some monumental changes in this world, and will go down in the history books as one of the great leaders of all time! Yea, Hillary!
Winner Barack Obama has a great future as our next president. He will usher in some great reforms in our Government. Yea, Barack!
As you see, if you have the same amount of letters in your first and last name, you win the game!
It seems I am taking a blogger's holiday today. Tomorrow is my boyfriend Shawnee's 40th birthday, so I'm busy preparing a party. Come on over to my house and celebrate with us if you live in the vicinity. 7 PM, bring a bottle of wine!
Let's take our minds off campaign stuff for a moment, and check out the table my mother just finished. She turned this slate table that sat outside since my childhood, into this amazing garden sculpture.
Hillary has a new plan to put her supporters into action called "Hillary sent me!" Check it out, sounds like a good idea to me! She will be unleashing her supporters each weekend to different states in support of Barack Obama. I'm down with it, where do I sign up and do I have to wear a pantsuit?
"Today I am asking all of you to stand up, hit the road and spread the word that we must elect Barack Obama president and we must send a filibuster-proof majority to Congress," Hillary says. "This is a call to action. This is a must-do. We all have a role. And there is not a moment to lose."
Sarah Palin loves to compare herself to Hillary Clinton. She seems to think she is picking up where Hillary left off. She feels she deserves to walk off with all the glory that came from years and years of fighting for equality by women like Hillary and many others. To make matters worse, Sarah would love nothing better than to take away many of the achievements that these women won for us. Just for fun, let's compare an old photo of Sarah Palin as a teenager, to one of Hillary Clinton at the same age. You know what they say..."a picture says a thousand words."
Here's Sarah in college ( one of the 5 or 6 she attended). She clearly thinks she's sexy and cute. I'm guessing her thoughts are on beauty, boys and basketball. I imagine she is wondering what time the party is starting and what she should wear. She may also be stewing on how she hates her room-mate, or how she is going to win the basketball tournament. Not much else going on here. Her shirt by the way reads, "I may be broke, but I'm not flat busted".
Now here's Hillary in college at the same age. Note the books in the background, she has probably read them all. She clearly doesn't care about what she's wearing or how she looks, it's all about what she's thinking. She was probably thinking about humanitarian efforts in Guatemala or something, and how she can help. Or maybe she's thinking about a woman's rights rally she will soon be marching in, and she ( gasp!) actually feels passionate about this.
Here's my synopsis of these photos:
Sarah: out for herself, into power, greed and title. Does not care one bit about anyone else. She will work hard to get the things she feels she deserves, regardless of how unethically she achieves them.
Hillary: out to save the world. Takes on huge global issues because she genuinely cares. She will give everything she has her entire life to see the global issues she passionately believes in come to fruition.
Hillary Clinton is one of Barack Obama's greatest assets in this election. I hope America isn't actually ignorant enough to choose "Miss Wasilla" to be, as she says herself, "first in line to the presidency".
It's kind of like collecting sea shells before the tide comes in and takes them all away.
Here's what it says....
decisions affecting the state on behalf of the state for the good of the people.
Do I know the duties of the VP? Of-course! And hailing all the way from the 49th state, it will be an honor to serve you as our Nation's 49th vice president. 1)I'm first in line to the presidency, 2)I preside over the Senate , and 3) I carry forth any duty delegated to me by the president. My comments were based on the fact our constitutional framers loosely defined the duties of the vice president, and assign no executive power to the vice president. Essentially, the vice president is a significant a position as the president wants it to be. I'm confident President McCain picked me as his vp running mate becuase he believes I can play a significant role in his administration. He will have every confidence delegating authority to
Dear Hillary Clinton Army, As some of you may know, I have been diligently at work investigating the purchase of a tropical island, here-in to be known as "Hillary Clinton Island". After a week of searching I have come to the realization that since most tropical islands cost in the millions, it would be prudent, for now, to simply RENT an island. Now, those of you who know me should know that I am completely serious. Private island rentals are actually pretty reasonable and practical. Plus they have all the amenities we will need already there. Housing, food, water, tropical beverages,and yes, maybe even a disco! "Hillary Clinton Island" will be a tribute to Our Dear Lady on a monumental scale. No sour grapes grow on this island. Glamor, fun, and freedom will be the name of the game.
All we will need to pack will be our gold togas, diaphanous gowns, and lace-up sandals. More elaborate COSTUMES are optional but encouraged. I'll take care of the 30 foot backdrop of a golden Hillary statue for our temple dances. Until we build a real one, this will have to do. A heli-pad will be a key feature in the choosing of our island. Hillary will be notified when all our plans are set. Also crucial in our island selection will be a friendly, fun-loving staff willing to change the island's name for the week to, of-course, "Hillary Clinton Island". All in favor, say "I".
This is Julia, and here are some of her thoughts on Hillary Clinton Island.
I am pleased to be able to share my ideas for Hillary Clinton Island. I've been in on a few of the rap sessions about this Island and you can save me your questions of,"Where is the potable water?" "Will there be a cell tower?" and "How can we avoid another Jonestown?" These are small minded thoughts. Better questions are, "Will I wear a mini white toga with gold, lace up sandals or a diaphaneous gown of teal and pink to the temple dance?" This isn't going to be a cult situation so I am not going to pass any edicts on sex or food or religion. Instead I would ask that it be more like a Club Med crossed with a posh girl's summer camp. Personal freedom and self-determination rule the day. But there are activities and a dress code that are encouraged. I think it would be cool if everyone ran everywhere. It would make us buff and healthy and pant a little which is always sexy. I would like the women to wear white mini dress togas with golden headbands and matching lace up gold sandals. I recommend that the men wear white mini togas or gold speedos. Which brings me to activities. I would like it if the men dedicated themselves to gymnastics. Men look so good when they are on the rings. The women could compete in the Island Olympics. Track racing, archery, skeet shooting and swimming and ceramics. It would keep us mentally alert and physically excellent. For down time, I imagine that we all hang out at the temple. This is where a giant golden Hillary Clinton Idol is placed deep in the shadows. There we dance, place dates and clementines in tribute at her mighty feet, make music and eat grapes. I suggest the women wear tight belly dancing dresses in a variety of colors. For the men I like leopard fur togas. I want for Hillary Clinton Island what I fear will be lost in a McCain America. Glamour, fun and freedom.
Please go to this link to see the Hillary Clinton Island temple dance
This remote island could soon to be called "Hillary Clinton Island". It is a tropical island is located in the Pacific, just a 10 minute boatride from the mainland of "xxxxx", well, OK., I'll tell you, Panama. It has 5 great beaches. The area is known for the great flora and fauna. The island has whitesand beaches and lush vegetation.
Hola, Agent Louise here reporting from sunny Panama! After hearing all the Bullshit coming out of the GOP's ass these past three weeks. I made up my mind to go to the other end of the bull to find a new home.So I'm in beautiful Bocas del Torrrrrrro (That's 'mouth of the bull' for all you non spanish speaking goombas) I'm here on a top sercert mission called 'Isla de Hillary' also know as plan B.That is if 'Grandpa Warmonger Chipmunk and The Psycho Bitch Mutant Mix of Rove & Bush with just a pinch of O'Reagano' win the election.I'm sooooooooooooo out of here! So plans have been made between Big Brass and I to secure a location for 'Hillary Island',it may be a good place to hang out till 2012. 'Hey wait a min!Doesn't the Mayan calender end in 2012?' Well if McCain/Palin win it just may be the end of the world before we even get to 2012 baby! Anyway 'Hillary Island' will be a place where everyone will have universal health care,and women can do what they please with their own wombs! But there is still a lot of work to be done,Chew-Mee is here and we are starting an eel farm.He/She even has some of the local girls learning the art of eel dancing.CM made a new drink with Red-Bull&Sake served in a Pipa(Green Coconut)it's called a RBSB Pipa.I have also found a new way to get totally wasted here,if you lick the backs of these little red tree frogs.'Man you'll be tripping like it's the 60's all over again' Over and 'almost past' Out, A.Lousie
Palin reminds me of a school kid who is pretending she read the assignment, and believes she is fooling the teacher.
Please take a moment to compare and contrast. Sarah Palin would never be where she is right now if it wasn't for the years of hard work and dedication of Hillary Clinton. Here's Hillary from a year ago. Give her a listen.
Playing them both at the same time is fun if you really want to feel disgusted in the choices this country makes.
Dear Gretchen, It's been a long time since I had the opportunity to write to you. Between the convention and subsequent turn of events, I've had little time to collect my thoughts. But I wanted to take a moment to share with you and your readers something that I know you have all been wondering, namely, my thoughts about Sarah. In a nutshell, she's a first-degree loony who happens to have great legs and full breasts. I've noticed that people often turn their head when she goes in for a kiss or a hug, suggesting that she may be chronically plagued with bad breath. This is not surprising given the quantity of fresh kill she eats, which also explains her ruddy complexion. But she does have a quick mind and a self-effacing style, which she draws significant mileage from. As for me personally, well, let's just say I'm perturbed by her. She uses me. All that I stand for, all of my years of service she makes her own by association. It's an association of gender, a fabricated empathy, all in the name of shameless self-promotion. She speaks of me as if we were friends. I have never met this woman! Why anyone gives this sly creature the time of day is beyond belief. But it is what it is. I just pray every night before I go to bed that I will never encounter her in the flesh. God help me if I find myself in the same room with her. It may lead to the moment the mainstream media has been waiting for. There's one more thing I want to mention about this woman, Sarah Ferguson. According to Elsa, head of my secret Secret Service, she talks to herself in front of the mirror. Enough about her. How are you Gretchen? You are, after all, the leader the Hillary Clinton Army, the finest group of men and women in the blogosphere. Your fantastic stewardship of this impressive group of misfits is evidence of great character and sass. May the force of fun be with you always. May you always retain the sexy in "Hillary". God bless you and all of your followers. Sincerely,
Out on the Campaign trail I met all kinds of Hillary supporters. People who have given everything they have for Hillary. All their money, all of their time, and all their passion was dedicated to the goal of seeing Hillary as our next president. It was a great honor to work among this dedicated group of people, and I made some great friends along the way.
Now that Hillary is no longer a candidate, everyone has scattered every which way. You never know where the Hill-road may lead you. So it's always best when meeting a hardcore Hillary supporter to ask first before embarking on a rant. Today I've decided to organize this lost tribe into categories.
THE SHIP JUMPERS These people quietly and seemingly effortlessly jumped ship over to Obama. They very rationally put party first, and they didn't let their emotions get in the way. Many have played this game of politics before, and recognize the signs of a sinking ship well before the rest of us do.
THE KICKERS AND SCREAMERS These people did not have an easy time leaving Hillary and supporting Obama. They kicked and screamed and fought until the bloody end. They only gave up the fight and joined Obama after there was no fight left.
GONE FERAL These people have gone feral on the Democratic party and are now voting Republican. Their strong support for Hillary has somehow been transformed into strong support for McCain, I'm not exactly sure why. Some will defend Sarah Palin to the death, others will not, but all will agree they will NEVER support Barack Obama.
SCRAPPERS These people dance to the beat of their own drum. They intend to write Hillary in, regardless of whether this makes any real sense.
THE PARTY POOPERS These people are disgusted by it all, and since Hillary did not win, they will sit this dance out.
THE PARTY PLANNERS These people are either inventing a new Democratic party, or are already working on 2012 plan for Hillary. Your guess is as good as mine as to what they'll do in the voting booth this November!
Have I missed any?
I consider myself in the "Kickers and screamers" category. I was there in Denver at the Hillary march. I gnawed on the bones till there was nothing left but to say but "I give... alright already, I'll vote Obama!"
If you were a hardcore Hillary supporter, where are you now?
We have completed Step One of S.P.A., admitting that we are powerless in our Sarah Palin addiction. It is now time to move on to Step two.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
O.K., "a power greater than ourselves" is open to interpretation. Some will look to God or Jesus. If you are one of these people, I bring you "Jesus is my friend", by Sonseed. I hope you find the inspiration that you need to overcome this terrible addiction, in the lyrics of this spiritual song!
Others may look for their saviour elsewhere. Personally, I am choosing Saint Hillary as my higher power. I offer you this candle to gaze upon as you meditate on your salvation.
Please feel free to share with us your preferred Higher Power. I would now like to say a prayer.
Oh, Powerful Saint Hillary, Divine mother and protector of us all, I implore you to grant my humble request to give me strength over my terrible addiction to Sarah Palin. Blessed are you that does not take pot-shots at SHE. Blessed are you that walketh the higher road... alone. I am not as strong as you, and I cannot control my desire to make fun of SHE. Show me the way to rise above this terrible desire to cracketh Palin jokes. Oh powerful Saint Hillary, I implore you to grant my request. AMEN.
Hello, I'm Gretchen and I have a problem. I'm a Sarah Palin addict. My life has spun out of control. I try every day to turn over a new leaf. I try to stop thinking about her, stop talking about her, and most of all... stop blogging about her. Every day I fail myself once again. It seems I can't even think of something to blog about that's not about "her". Ever time I walk down the street I find myself in yet another heated discussions about "her". I need help. If you suffer from the same problem I do, let's overcome this thing together, and get out lives back on trac. It is comforting to know I am not alone.
A friend of mine suggested that we start here:
1.) We admitted we were powerless over Sarah Palin--that our lives have become unmanageable.
Let's meditate on this and see where it takes us.
Your suggestions on what to do next would be very helpful. I tried looking at the AA 12 steps, but all that God stuff reminds me of....well, you know.
I'm going to begin to meditate and not think about " she who shall remain nameless"... OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Let's begin by imagining we are willows bending in the breeze as we meditate on the Piper, Krishna. Let's remove from our minds any thought that will Triger any thoughts about "her". We ask that thoughts that aren't of a higher nature, pale in comparison. Let us be free!
Like many Americans, I am currently obsessed with Sarah Palin. It's driving me crazy, she's like "Windsong", she stays on my mind. I don't know how much more of this I can take! So today I decided to take a painter's holiday, and forget about SP for a little while. So off in the Hillcar I went...
I traveled around looking for a nice place to paint. I really tried my best not to think of "you know who".
I looked at flowers
I looked at creepy old cabins,
but it just wasn't working.
I just can't seem to get Sarah Palin off my mind!
If there are others of you out there suffering from this problem, please let me know. Do you know if they have a SPA (Sarah Palin Anonymous) group yet?
Judging by the photos she sent, Secret Agent Louise is enjoying her trip to Alaska. This was not intended to be a pleasure trip, Louise. I expect a full report by 0000 hours. Start digging for dirt or your fired! If anyone from Alaska spots a drunken sock monkey please contact me ASAP. Thanks!