Thursday, July 31, 2008

Choose your White House bedroom NOW!

We of the Hillary Clinton Army must always think one step ahead of the crowd. Let the rest of the world believe Barrack Obama will soon be moving into the White House... we know the truth! That's why we are choosing our White House bedrooms now. We think Hillary will be so pleased with us after we help her regain what is rightfully hers, that she will ask us to live with her in the White House.
So while the others dream about "hope" and all that hogwash, we are busy picking out swatches of fabric, colors of paint, and new curtains for our new home with Hillary in the White House!
As "Big Brass" of the H.C.A., I have chosen the "President's Den" as my bedroom. Considered "the extra room" by some , many presidents used it as a separate bedroom to the Master Suite. The President's Den shares a bathroom and dressing room with the Presidential Master Bedroom. I hope Bill and Hillary don't get mad when I use all of their hair conditioner!

The White House bedrooms are going fast! Louise has already called the Lincoln room. In her mind she is already there, snacking on "Pop Secrets" and watching "Free Willy"!
Chew-mee had laid claim to the China room. The Farm House in the back grounds of the White House has been claimed by Sarah Ferguson. So do you homework and get your room... there's not a moment to waste!

Let's hear it for the Handy Goddess!

Top secret mission details

Notice to all Hillary Clinton Army members.
It is my duty to inform you that plans are being made to perform a top secret mission to secure the White House for "Mother Eagle".

Please enter your top secret security access code here.


Access code approved.

Checking status.
Top Secret status code 40111 approved.
You are now entering a Top Level clearance site. Lock all access points. Remove clothes.

Our Top secret mission shall be referred to as "Bring Mother Eagle home".

I met with Secret Agent Louise at our top secret headquarters to here-in to be referred to as "Roper lake".
Agent Louise mapped out a detailed comprehensive plan of our mission.

Here is Agent Louise, study her face, and then delete these photos from your files.

Here is her 8 step plan.

STEP 1: Find Denver. Agent Louise seems to think it is somewhere near New Hampshire.
When Denver is found, drive to it and smash Hillcar into the stadium during Obama's presumptuous acceptance speech. Hit button to create blue smoke explosions.

STEP 2: Drop,roll and disguise:
During the mayhem, the blue smoke will act as a cover for said secret Agents to drop under the Hillcar, and disguise ourselves as Secret Service.

STEP 3,4, 5, and 6 Find Mother Eagle.
We then enter the stadium. Agent Louise will seek out "Mother Eagle".

Mother Eagle is "secured" into the Hillcar by "secret agents" who ask her to come and identify the "Hillcar" for security purposes.

STEP 7 : Secure Mother Eagle into the white House.
Mother Eagle is now brought to the White House in back of Hillcar. As President Bush will be away on vacation, we can claim squatter's rights to the White House for Mother Eagle.

STEP 8: We will all live happily ever after in the White House. Louise has first dibs on the Lincoln room. She will then put into action her plan of having male strippers perform in the Lincoln room on a regular basis.
I will then be putting "Operation Hillcar Fleet" into action. This plan includes high-class female call girls for the visiting dignitaries.

Please inform us in the space below the position you would like to claim at the White House. Also, if you would like to be included on the list of possible secret agents for operation "Bring Mother Eagle home" , please leave your name and code, plus position you are most interested in.


Now You must delete all the evidence.

Over and out.
Big Brass

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A day at the lake

We spent the whole day yesterday, a lot of last night, and much of today floating around on ears of corn, and on the backs of alligators, at the lake. Kate treated us to a night at "Bass" cabin, on Roper lake in Safford Az. One of my favorite parts of the trip took place after a delicious bottle of Chateauneuf Du Pape. Jesse and I took our ear of corn and our alligator out and floated around in the middle of the night on the lake. We saw endless falling stars. Jesse describes this time as " what it must be like to be dead".
Quite a few Fabricated humans made the scene. Arunis, the transgendered doll was there. S/he mostly stayed indoors nibbling on sushi, and afterwards claimed s/he would never go camping again.
I picked up a few new dolls at the Wilcox thrift store. I didn't bring my camera so I tried to draw them, but didn't pack much in the way of art supplies. I tried drawing with gummi bears, but ended up gluing them on by leaving them in the sun on my paper.

Louise, the sock monkey, made the scene. We'll be hearing more from her soon!

Here is a rather dumb Hillary poem I made up while floating on the lake.

Hillary grass,
waving at the sun.

Hillary clouds,
changing to pink when day is done.

Hillary sky,
blue but fading as fast.

Hillary moon,
rising at last.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What about that Wendy?

Let's not forget to check out our own Wendy Layton's blog,
You tour like a girl.
Wendy really is a blogstress Supreme. I read her blog almost every day. She keeps her post short and funny, always supplies photos of her escapades. Her blog titles often are 70's songs. I have to admit I've stolen a lot of ideas off Wendy's blog.
The problem with adding Wendy to our list of nominees is she is one of our own. She's an H.C.A. gal through and through. This photo could be evidence in court that Wendy is in fact an H.C.A. insider. (Wendy is in the center with the press pass for those that don't know her).

So as it stands, so far we have "the Handy Goddess", and "Hillary Imagined and Real" as our nominees. Would you agree with that?
Keep digging folks! We need more blogs!

Monday, July 28, 2008

To the lake with Jade

Tomorrow I am going to Roper lake with Kate, Jesse, Brianna and Jade. Below is a painting I did of Jade when she was around 12. She is now around 15, I think. She was always naturally goth, but now she dresses the part and carries an expensive transgendered doll named Arunis everywhere she goes. She dresses the doll in Goth gear.

We will be spending the night on the lake. I imagine Arunis will have to stay out of the sun due to his/her pale complexion.

Embracing your obsessions!

Artists are expected to be obsessive. Gallery owners want to see one subject matter painted 3 million times, or a slight variation of subject matter painted exactly the same way. They want to say something like "Oh look, she painted a pear for 3 years straight". Somehow they find this endearing.
I used to think my obsessive qualities were a bad thing .. then along came Hillary! I now embrace my obsessive qualities, and try to use them to their highest potential.
I now feed my obsessions, instead of trying to starve them. Let's take my life-long obsession with the Partridge Family. Now if you think that I put this childhood obsession away with my toy box and just dusted it off recently, you are wrong. I never once stopped believing! I've listened to my P-Fam records my whole life. I love to make art when grooving to Keith and Shirley. In the past I wouldn't consider this something to be proud of... but those days are gone! On that note, check out what I just got in the mail today!
201 Partridge Family Bubble gum cards!

...and how could I resist buying 101 dalmations at the thrift store today? All art car artists love things en mass!

I'm always inspired my those artists who embrace their obsessions. Kate Pearson is forever gluing 20 million objects to her car, her home, and even her clothes. Lately she's been gluing postcards to every wall, ceiling and available surface of her house.

Now I'm sure you can guess why I'm loving that Sarah Ferguson! Though she's an extremely talented and accomplished painter, it's how she embraces her obsession that works for me. And certainly we spot a bit of obsessiveness in The Handy Goddess! Who else would have the perseverance to make a daily Handy Goddess video?

I really admire those artists that forgo things like sleeping and eating as to give themselves more time to create. But unfortunately, I'm just a regular person who sleeps and eats... too much of both!

Now there is a thin line between creepy obsessions and healthy obsessions. Nobody likes a stalker, big-time yuck! These people will never win popularity contests. Obsessive-compulsive dental care, hand-washing etc isn't exactly an admired attribute either. So where is the line?
If what your doing could hurt somebody, or is creepy and secretive, and doesn't do the world one bit of good... cut the shit and get a life.
But if you are making art, having fun, getting a laugh for yourself and others, and noone is the worse for wear... I say embrace your obsessions! Get out your glue-guns, kids...we've got work to do!

Got any obsessions you'd like to share with us? Bring 'em on!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dark days in Hillaryland ( another variation)

A cloud has passed over Hillaryland

and all of the people cannot understand,

they shake their heads and go inside

they close their doors, they shut their blinds.

The queen herself has slipped away,

into the darkness of this twilight day.

Let's take a look...

... unless your Hillary, then you might want to close your eyes!

(Hillary-happy shutter-bug that I am... I snapped this when I heard an EEK!" coming from Hillary... I don't know what happened!)

Our first day collecting blogs to consider for the 'HILLARY CLINTON ARMY BLOGGIE AWARDS" and we've got ourselves a live one!
This in from Sarah Ferguson, whom I don't know but she seems delightfully twisted!
DISCLAIMER: I herein take no responsibility for anything you see on blogs sent to me.
Don't click on this one if you don't want to be slightly shocked!! (ooh!)
Her art is quite fantastic, so take a look around while your there!

This one in from Beck. Lots of cool music and stuff here, even a Leslie Hall story (sigh!)


Greetings from Baby Hillary!

Look, over there towards Denver.... It's a twister!

The Hillary Clinton Army Bloggie Awards!

Yea! It's Bloggie season! It's time to choose our favorite blogs for our very own 'HIllary Clinton Army Bloggie Awards!"
Now obviously we are not allowed to put this blog on the list, as we will be giving the awards.
So send me your favorite blogs. After a vigorous voting process... we will narrow our choice down to a mere 3 blogs. Hopefully in the process will find some great new blogs!
We will be looking for blogs that are creative, colorful, fun, and thoroughly entertaining. Any subject. No boring blogs will be tolerated!

Madame Worley must be entertained!

Trophies, made by fabulous artists, such as the illustrious Kate Pearson ( and how about you, Chew-mee, and what about you, Jackie-O!? ), will be given to the "HILLARY CLINTON ARMY BLOGGIE AWARDS" winners!

I'll start the ball rolling by suggesting
The Handy Goddess
be considered in our list of possibilities. O.K., now it's your turn.... bring on the blogs!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

You don't need a secret decoder ring for this message...

Here is a quote from Howard Dean from his speech in North Carolina yesterday...
“There will be a roll call vote at the convention if Hillary Clinton wants one,” he continued. “We all respect each other and we certainly respect Sen. Clinton. This is a unified party. It is not easy to be on the losing side, and I know ... because four years ago, I was on the losing side.”
I don't believe Hillary will be on the roll call vote in Denver. Dean and others would make her feel like she was "dividing the party", and promptly turn her into the Democratic villain. She's too smart to put herself through that. One more reason not to go to Denver! Sorry Chew-mee!

Thanks anyway, Chew-mee!

Although Chew-mee has graciously offered to accompany me to Denver for the convention, after much deliberation... I have decided not to go.
Thanks Chew-mee for your wonderful portrayal of our adventures on the road. It would have been loads of fun, and having you strapped to the hood would certainly have livened things up! Maybe we can (sniff) drink sake bombers and you can eel dance for me right here in Bisbee !

Friday, July 25, 2008

Get out your secret decoder ring , kids...

What is she really saying? Does anyone have any of that invisible ink reverser?

Dear Gretchen,

Thank you for the special contribution you made to our campaign as a volunteer. We made and lived history, and it could not have been done without you!

Our local staff across the country depended on the time and commitment of out-of-state volunteers. From winter to spring, in good weather and bad, in small towns and big cities, you were always there. I am grateful for the hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles you traveled, the signs you held, the doors you knocked, and the calls to local voters urging their support.

Now we embark on the next leg of this historic journey. Please know that I will continue to work for the safety and security of our country and advocate for the millions of Americans who are without health care, who are disenfranchised, or unable to achieve their God-given potential. To these ends I will work vigorously to unite our party and win back the White House in November.

With friendship and warm regards, I am

Sincerely yours,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Dark days in Hillaryland Part 1

A cloud has passed over Hillaryland

and all of the people cannot understand,

they shake their heads and go inside

they close their doors, they shut their blinds.

Only the children come out to play

in the darkness of this twilight day.

... to be continued.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Today's Shirley

Here's how the Queen of "Ba Da Da" is coming along today. Come on, get happy!

To convention or not to convention...

That is the question.

I'd like to take the Hillcar there in support of our dear lady, but it seems this party could get ugly. If I went I would paint "Hillary for Vice President" on my car, as to remain positive in the current situation. I have a place to stay, so I don't have to worry about that part. I don't want to end up in the middle of a riot with the Hillcar. The jury is out on this one.... thoughts?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

From the desk of...


I see the best clouds from my porch/studio. Did I mention I am going to side-line in cloud-catching?

You'll never hear me complaining about a lack of a studio again. Anyone can hang some sheets somewhere. If it blows down, hey... hang it back up again! Not to mention... the view is spectacular!

Break time!

I've been painting all day in my studio made of sheets, wind and clouds.

I'm taking a break on my Shirely painting, and focusing on a self-portrait.

Now I'm bored of that and my paintbrush is moving on to the next thing. Hmmm....

Your homework

You tell me.

Your homework is to write a brief essay about what you have just seen. Please post your essays in the comment section.
Due first thing tomorrow,

Getting my Shirl on!

It's bright and annoyingly early, (in my world)... but I feel a Shirl comin' on! It makes me want to sing "ba da da" over the lyrics of most any song! Here's the humble beginnings of my Shirley Partridge portrait I started yesterday. I'll post it again later today and we can see how it is coming along! Rum pum pum. ba da da...

Oh no, there's one of those obnoxious memory bubbles floating over my head. Ahhh!
The time: 1992
The place: The stage of the Atlantic Connection on Martha's Vineyard.
(Pan in) The fog from the fog machine clears to reveal our band "The Diarrhea Roses" on the stage. "The Battle of the Shirleys" is about to take place.
Back stage all the Shirleys are warming up with a cacophony of "Ba da das". The competition is fierce.
On our cue we all pile onto the stage in our velvet pantsuits, ruffles, and blonde wigs and tamborines. Our song, a twisted version of the Partridge Family's "You are always on my mind" begins. The lyrics have been changed to accommodate the true story in which Shirley Jones's husband Marty has a heart attack after tying Shirley to the bed, making it impossible for her to get to the phone. The Shirleys let loose a string of "ba da das" between choruses of "Shirley, your tied up to the bed, if you don't dial 911 pretty soon, old Marty will be dead". I spot Michael LaBonte and know I don't stand a chance.
I give it all I've got but this boy is good. He's studied all her mannerisms and has her 'Ba Da Das" down to perfection! That particular shake of his head as he lets loose a stream of ferocious twills has everybody beat.
The Golden Tambourine Award shall forever belong to Michael LaBonte. Amen.

Michael Labonte, the winner of "The Battle of the Shirleys".

Here's the source of our inspiration...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Baer Family Secret

Well dear Bloggers, it's looks like today is the day. Let it be written that Today, July 22, 2008, is the day I pass on to you the Baer Family Secret.
I will never forget the day my father passed it on to me. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Dad called me into the dining room. He was sitting at the dining room table with pencil and paper and a solemn look on his face. He called me to his side.
"Gretchen", my father said, "never draw the teeth".
My 12 year old mind didn't know what in the world he was talking about. But that's when my father did for me as I am about to do for you ....illustrate this secret passed on through generations of Baers before me.

My father used Santa Claus as his model, I'm going to use a portrait of Shirley Partridge I started this afternoon.

Here you have your typical Shirley smile, though it's not well painted as I am just about to do something dreadful to it! It looks a lot like the Hillary smile that I've done in countless Hill-paintings.

Now here's Shirley with teeth. Disgraceful, right? Down-right scary. You'll note I would never even DREAM of using Hillary as my illustration... that would be sacrilege!

There it is... the Baer Family Secret. "NEVER DRAW THE TEETH!"
I hope it brings you many good things.
Go ahead, Grasshopper,and try this at home... but never with our Hillary!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Those were the days!

Someone sent me a few cool photos tonight, I thought I'd pass them on.

... and how much do we miss this lady?

Doing my thing!

Feast your eyes on all these delicious Partridge Family cards I got in the mail today! Sooner or later I''ll be busting out some Hillary/ Shirley art. I love all the slogans under the photos, like "Doing his thing", "Time to laugh!", "Everybody pitches in!", "Another great performance!", and "Singing sensation!". They weren't afraid to use exclamation points, that's for sure! I think I steal some of their slogans for my blog titles.

I spent most of the day painting on my porch. I'm working on a show I'm planning for the fall.

I just started this one this afternoon.

Have a groovy night everybody!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Waterfalls in the desert

When most people think of the Arizonian desert they think of, why, desert! Cacti, cow skulls, maybe a lonesome cowboy, and certainly an extreme lack of water. Here in Bisbee, summer is most people's favorite time of the year. The monsoons are here in July and August , and we are treated to dramatic deluges of water every afternoon or early evening. We have dramatic thunder and lightning storms, where our streets turn into rivers. Sometimes these rivers are so intense they may be carrying a car or two, and maybe a washing machine or a refrigerator. The monsoons are just getting going here, and with them come one of my favorite things... the waterfalls!
I brought my camera along today to share some photos with you.

Very few people go up there, and the swimming is great!

Check out Bisbee in the summer sometime. It's usually about 75 degrees, and really quite lovely!

Freemasons have more fun! Part 2

The Freemasons are shrouded in centuries of mystery. Their symbolism runs about as deep as humanity itself. I don't even begin to understand the least of it. Far be it from me to say I even have a clue as to what they are really about.
I was invited inside the Masonic Lodge today because they are renting it. It seems they don't have enough members to keep up the costs here in Bisbee. Although they have over 200 members, only about 6 can make it to the monthly meetings, hence they are looking for renters at a very reasonable price.
My friends Ed, Kelly and I bit the hook. Imaging we would have the run of the gigantic place, we would wear robes and masks, speak in secret languages, and have "strange" rituals. But what good is being in a "secret society" if you don't have "Secret Society" T-shirts? This lead to imaging 'The Secret Society Store"... where you can fulfill ALL your "Secret Society" needs.
Well, apon entering this forbidden palace, we certainly were impressed. The detail is beyond explanation... even all their light fixtures contain their magic emblem! ( I took this photo from the wrong side, sorry!)

Even at their casual best, they rock!

Everything , and I mean EVERYTHING, has their insignia on it!

The craftsmanship is staggering. The Freemasons must truly have been masons willing to work for free!

We all walked away, blown away. But it's a tough fit. We really couldn't have our "Secret Society Store" here. Even art studios seem dubious, which was my main concern.

Being a "G" lover from as far back as I can remember... I do love their main symbol, the G.
Myth, ancient symbolism, spirituality and ritual...the Freemasons are an enigma at best.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Mysteries revealed!

The "Silent protesters' did not protest the Gabby Giffords luncheon today, it seems they couldn't find a ride.
The attendance, I am happy to say, went from 10 confirmed yesterday, to 60 today! Congresswomen Gabby was fantastic and gave a great talk, but who cares about that... let's dish!

Sally and I spied on the comings and goings of the party secretly through the window.

We were hoping to see protesters, but instead witnessed Fred ( in the Hawiian shirt) trying to convince Gabby that she needs a "Gabby car", and should commission me to make one. I love you Fred!

After realizing no protesters were coming, I considered protesting the luncheon myself. Signs saying things like "Make Lunch, not war", were going through my brain. I wisely decided against this idea and split to my next engagement I call
"The Mystery of the Freemasons."
Unfortunately, I am getting late for work. I can't wait to tell you all about this great mystery revealed. I've got photos too, but I''ll save that post till later tonight. Until then... get your Nancy Drew on!