Friday, March 6, 2009

Chasing Hillary Chapter 6

GETTING CAUGHT

The first time I got nailed by the Clinton's secret service for being somewhere I shouldn't be in an art car was in 1994.
My boyfriend and I had a car called "The Funk Ambulance". It was a huge 1978 Oldsmoblile '98, rebuilt to look something like an ambulance.



Painted in playing lions, the Funk Ambulance was equipped with an intricate light system, lots of extra horns, a water balloon catapult, working disco ball, an industrial farm sprinkler system, 4 foot high speakers, and sleeping quarters. The switch board next to the driver's seat looked like something out of Star Trek. We were ready to rock at any given moment.

Our performance art band "Diarrhea Roses" had just finished another night of rehearsal on Martha's Vineyard. We were giving a friend a ride home.


The Roses first incarnation, "Cottage Cheese Thighsburg" circa 1986

As we drove past the dirt road the Clintons were staying down, somebody came up with a bad idea.
"Hey, let's see how far we can go down the Clinton's road". Brilliant.
We didn't get far before secret service men appeared from out of nowhere on the dark, dusty road.
They called the police. We were searched. Try explaining to humorless Washington D.C. secret servicemen why you have a sprinkler system mounted on your roof and a 50 gallon water tank under pressure in your back seat.
This wouldn't be the last time I'd have a lot of explaining to do.


13 comments:

Tour Wonk said...

birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!birthday.. oh happy birthday!

Tour Wonk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tour Wonk said...

nevermind... I think I made my thoughts clear...

Hillary Clinton Army said...

Wow, that ain't no Layton Family Birthday song!

Charlene said...

Are you in the pic of the "Diarrhea Roses"? I can't really tell. Loving these stories. And, by the way...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hillary Clinton Army said...

I'm wearing the curly blonde afro.

Charlene said...

Wow...I'm seeing you now...would not have been able to pick you out if you hadn't told me, though. Do you have recordings from those days? I want to hear something!

love23 said...

Happy Birthday dear old friend! Saw you walking to High Desert Market just now with your phone attached to your ear. It's always a delight to see you! By the way Charlene I have the Cottage Cheese Thigh tapes and also recordings of Diarrhea Roses a plenty.

love23 said...

Happy Birthday dear old friend! Saw you walking to High Desert Market just now with your phone attached to your ear. It's always a delight to see you! By the way Charlene I have the Cottage Cheese Thigh tapes and also recordings of Diarrhea Roses a plenty.

Hillary Clinton Army said...

Charlene, you can hear all out delightful tunes here...
www.myspace.com/diarrhearoses
My one-hit-wonder is called "Mommy Salami".

Flying Mermaid said...

AHhahahaha! Too fucking beautiful!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, of course!

XX

Flying Mermaid said...

For your birthday I got my ownself a little something -- another ruined thumb!

Vince said...

Looking wonderful...........

___________________

Vince

Lock in your price today for Your favorite channels - and keep it there until 2010!